This is an email that I sent to record my experience with the Form tutor that I worked with, completing a Low level concern about them to explain the reaon that I had been moved tutor-group.
My aim is to learn from the positive and negatitve experienes in this school placement.
My name is Luke Kandiah, I am a student teacher that has been placed with the Art department here.
Overall, my experience here has been and continues to be incredibly valuable. Although it is both an essential part of my course and of my personal professional values to strive for positive professional relationships with other staff members, I will here detail a sequence events that have made me feel targeted and deeply uncomfortable.
I am writing this in the form of a low-level concern, as per the guidance and advice from my Subject Mentor (Redacted ) and Professional Co-ordinating Mentor (JRedacted), who have both been immensely supportive and understanding.
I have been grateful for the support of [Redacted] and feel I have adapted well to the position of Form tutor through his advice and encouragement, however there was a disconnect in this professional relationship that I feel I have not been able to resolve. This has led to an increase in situations that made me feel uncomfortable and the anxiety I have felt from attending Tutor and PD sessions has negatively affected my wider teaching.
This disconnect was initiated when [Redacted] asked me to formulate and produce an email that would recommend a child in our Tutor group to be assessed for Autism/ADHD.
I am new to the school and unaware of the policies/ procedures here with regards to such assessments, however I do have prior experience working in schools and so I asked about the recipient of this e-mail; specifically inquiring whether I should address it to the parents of the child or to the SENCO. My experience has taught me that communications in schools are critical, especially with the parents of the children; but also, that interdepartmental communications are essential to ensure that the proper processes are followed.
[Redacted]replied that the parents should not be informed because they have been contacted by him previously on this matter and that the parents made it clear that they did not want either of their children to be diagnosed with anything.
[Redacted] also replied that the SENCO should not be informed because he 'knew a guy' that he would send the email to.
(To this date, I do not know the identity of this individual, what role they have or if they are an associate of the school.)
This circumstance made me uncomfortable as I did not know who the email was to be sent to and it appeared I was being asked to make a referral behind the back of the parents and the school.
I asked for support from my SM, who encouraged me to reach out to the SENCO and Assistant Head teacher for guidance.
They then assured me that this situation was dealt with, and that I had made the right call to contact them for their advice.
(While I agree it is important for students to get the appropriate help, they may require supporting their learning, As I am unfamiliar with the procedures of this school, I felt more comfortable with the assistance of the SENCO/ SEN support department.)
I also appreciate that they 'couched' the discussion in the perspective that my SM had informed them, rather than myself as I hoped that this would allow me to continue a positive working relationship with [Redacted].
The next time I would talk with [Redacted]would be after a PD lesson. I would be five minutes late to this PD session as I had a formal observation the lesson before and I was receiving some feedback briefly. I had discussed with [Redacted] this may be the case in advance, and he assured me that he would manage the classroom before I arrived, though I said I would try and be as punctual as I can.
When I arrived at the class, the students were not sat at their desks as I had expected but were collected in a group by the door. [Redacted] did not make eye contact with me as I entered, and this was the moment, I first felt that he was angered by my actions.
For this lesson I had been asked to redesign the seating plan, so It's possible that [Redacted] told students that there was no point sitting down before I arrived, but he had assured me that he would manage the class before I could attend to lead it, which was not being done.
In this lesson I made sure to exercise all of the points of feedback I had received from [Redacted] the PD lesson prior. This is my general rule of practice to demonstrate to teachers that I take on board their advice and allows me to measure how to utilise it in my teaching practice.
After the lesson, [Redacted] insisted on talking with me. There is a 25-minute break between lessons at this time and I usually allow this time to collect feedback from PD sessions, so it wasn't out of the ordinary. His feedback however, was.
He asked me how I thought the lesson went, so I replied that I could see where his previous feedback was having positive effects on my teaching practice and that I hoped this was evident in his observation of my teaching.
In response he said that he thought it was 'really awful' and embarrassing.
I pride myself on my thick skin and recognise that as a student teacher I am still developing effective practice, so I assume a position of continuous learning and I ask him for key points that I can work on and apply.
He responded by saying that I need to be a 'F***ing d***head' to students and that my goal was to be an unlikeable, awful person.
It felt as though he was using the format of a feedback session as an excuse to openly insult me. Unlike his prior feedback which had been adjustments to my practice, these comments were about my character.
In this moment, I was conflicted as I understood he may have been upset that I had not completed the task he had asked me to (and my actions of seeking external guidance may have caused him additional grief) and so perhaps he just wanted to vent his frustration to me personally. For the hope that this disconnect would not cause further discord in our professional relationship, I decided to grit my teeth and hope that our professional rapport could be resolved by telling him that I would take his comments on board.
For the following PD session, [Redacted] told me that I will most likely be observed by the department. This observation was described to me as a regulatory appraisal by which those that write the curriculum for PD sessions judge the delivery of the material they created.
[Redacted] told me that he would review the topic for the lesson with me and show me how to best deliver this lesson. Initially, I appreciated this offered support.
When reviewing the set lesson, after just opening the presentation for no longer than half a minute, [Redacted] declared that the lesson was too boring and that I had no hope in engaging the class with the lesson.
His advice and instruction to me, was to redesign the PD lesson from scratch. I am not a PD specialist, nor do I have significant experience or knowledge about green professions, so I struggled to generate ideas to redesign this lesson. My goal was set to redesign the lesson and make it more engaging than the presentation we were given.
Due to my other responsibilities in the school, I only had about two days to complete this redesign of the lesson material and it was only on the day of the lesson, when discussing my grief of having to redesign the lesson, that I realised I was being set up for failure.
For a lesson where I was told I would be assessed on how well I could deliver a set syllabus, I was being asked to rewrite the set syllabus from scratch. This had felt targeted and I felt as if I had entered a lose-lose situation. Either I challenged the advice of [Redacted] again, further diluting our disconnection or I followed his advice and would be reviewed poorly by those senior members of staff that had come to observe me.
I felt immense anxiety that affected my teaching and was noted by those in my department.
Even after the lesson, when I felt a great relief in that the lesson was successfully engaging and those whom I was told would come to observe me never came, [Redacted]'s feedback on how to make the lesson better, stemmed from my deviation from the set syllabus which he had asked me not to use previously.
I have tried to regenerate a positive working relationship, but I feel as though I am unable to do so.
[End of account]
In my previous role, I was often asked to write long and detailed emails such as these, so I hope this format that I am practiced in is appropriate.
For now, an alternative Tutor has allowed me to join their Form/Tutor group and I hope I will be able to demonstrate positive professional relationships with that tutor.
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