Alter Ego
Measuring two-thirds of my height, the artwork I've titled "Alter Ego" is infused with symbolic imagery and deeply personal meanings, woven into a tapestry of identity.
This tapestry is composed of 20 self-portraits of my hands, each engaged in different activities. These activities reflect the nuanced aspects of my 'patchwork' identity. Aside from the face, hands are the most expressive part of the body, visually conveying identity through action and purpose.
Alter Ego (2023), 20 Bleach paintings on denim, stictched together and mounted on recycled denim (48"x24").
Here is a breakdown of the meaning of each of the 20 paintings:
Handshake & Balancing act
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At the base of the artwork are just two pieces, these are my foundation of vulnerability. My hands shake constantly, and I'm not sure why. I have consulted with doctors and psychologists and achieved no answer. It has felt like a curse to pry me away from my passion to create artworks. However despite of this, I have learned ways to utilise my faults and work around them, even making complex balancing structures that you might assume require perfectly steady hands. The handshake represents me coming to term with this shaking hands problem, and the balancing act demonstrates to me that I won't find identity in my shortcomings but in how I act despite this limitation.
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Failure
The hand in the wristguard develops from this, showing that it is not limitation, but failure that I feel is an important part of my identity. The confidence to try to learn new skills, techniques and knowledge and not be afraid to fall allows me to always stay humble and inspired to engage with new ideas and experiences and develop myself.
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Rhythm
There are two images of me playing guitar in this artwork. I play guitar for myself, and I also play guitar for other, such as in church or when teaching guitar. This image is me playing guitars to others and consequently this guitar is shown with strings, representative of a will to fulfil the wishes of others.
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The hovering pen
While I can explain some of these, the power of the art is that which can be communicated beyond the written word, and so the meaning of some can only be described abstractly, but they are just as much woven into my tapestry.
I love to write, but I do not. The pen hovers above an empty page.
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Longing
Like the outstretched arm of Adam on the ceiling of the sistine chapel, I feel myself ever reaching, for something within my reach but out of my grasp.
Warmth
Connection is felt most clearly through warmth, the heat of the coffee burns into my cold fingertips.
Affection
Hands communicate love across barriers.
Romanticism
The world is full of beauty that hands cloaked in plastic pockets cannot touch.
The watching eye
I feel immensely watched and yet I gaze further still.
The mouse
My hand reaches where it cannot. Settled, comfortable, immaterial.
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The painter's hand
I am an artist, my reflection bleeds into my canvas.
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Calculated surrender
The wooden king laid down at the foot of the fig tree.
Meditation
The guitar without strings. I close my eyes and a song appears as I drift into myself.
New world
The world is evolving, we must become more than ourselves to not lose our breath in the empty streets.
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Reaching for culture
If I do not find belonging anywhere, then I will go everywhere to find it.
Connection
Our hands are designed to be entwined.
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Prayer
Ant king. You believe I cannot pray with one hand? A prayer comes from the heart.
Closed book
This text is unfinished, but I invite you to glimpse through the pages pried open by these hands
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